Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Randomize
