He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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