I love black thongs
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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