just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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