Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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