Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
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