i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
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