Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
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Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
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And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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