Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
