he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Randomize
