i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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