So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
