theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize