You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize