Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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