thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
