new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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