he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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