i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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