I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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