I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
