have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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