Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
