I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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