How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
