I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
27 Times The Kardashian-Jenner Clan Absolutely Slayed at NYFW
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
19 Doctors Confess The Most Difficult Situation They’ve Ever Had To Face
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.