I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.