Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.