'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
These 23 People Share the Worst Advice They’ve Been Given
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.