if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato