You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
