He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
he thought i was a dude.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
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No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
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I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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