9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
