when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
