There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize
