I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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