just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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