We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
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