Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize