when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize