When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
