sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
