when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I puked a lego.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
