I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
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