i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
