So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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