i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
tell me about the eggs
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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