Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize
