Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
