Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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