Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
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