An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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