tell your sister to shave her snatch
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
