I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Randomize
