Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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