So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
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