you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Randomize
