well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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