Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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