LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
