My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
