All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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